古今中外的经典笑话书(套装共9册)电子书

23 Where is rice from？

米从何来

幽默英文：你都不理我，那我成狗不理了

第一章 极品醉爱

1 Marry Penguin

娶企鹅

2 Reason

原因

3 I Don’t Know Her

我还不认识她呢

4 My Husband

我丈夫

5 The Poor Husband

可怜的丈夫

6 You’ve Already Heard It

你已经听过了

7 Send for the Fire Brigade

叫消防队

8 Who Is This Speaking

你是谁

9 Want Her to Go Nuts

我要让她发疯

10 Domestic Thief

家贼

11 It Was Too Late

为时已晚

12 Questions and Answer

巧问妙答

13 You Look Like An Old Gentleman

你看起来像个老绅士

14 Notes

便条

15 Who’s in Heaven

谁在天堂

16 Flatterer

马屁精

17 Knocked the Door

叫门

18 Jimmy and Linda

吉米和琳达

19 Give up Smoking

戒烟

20 It’s Rather Unusual

不寻常

21 It’s Unnecessary to See God with a Present

见上帝没必要带礼物

22 Women

女人

23 The perfect husband

完美丈夫

24 I Am Not Able to Take Care of Three Wives

三个老婆

25 Husbands Said

丈夫如是说

26 What If...

要是……

第二章 奇葩囧语

1 Send the Bill to My Father

把账单给我父亲

2 How about That

怎么回事

3 I’ve Got the Wrong Room

走错了房间

4 You’re Facing the Wrong Way

你看错方向了

5 How Do I Breathe

我怎么呼吸

6 Protest

抗议

7 Beat Your Son

打你儿子

8 I Thought You Were Landing

我以为你在降落

9 Where Am I

我在哪儿

10 Go Home for My Pyjamas

拿睡衣

11 Keep Feeding

继续喂

12 Lawyer and Engineer

律师与工程师

13 I’m a Grandfather

我当爷爷了

14 A Burglar Can’t Find Me Either

贼也找不到我

15 Use a Pencil

用铅笔

16 They Are Directly from America

从美国直接带来的

17 Why Is She Screaming

她为何尖叫

18 How Much do You Figure I Owe You

付多少钱

19 I’ll Go There Myself in A Few Minutes

等会儿我自己过去

20 Bad News

坏消息

21 Logic Reasoning

逻辑推理

22 That Was before I Tried It

试前价

23 Goldberg

戈德堡

24 An Unusual Way

不同寻常的方式

25 Grass Eater

吃草的人

26 How Did You Know He Was a Bandit

你怎么知道他是个强盗

27 Isn’t It Quite Clear

显而易见

美国人和日本人

29 I Can Turn Him off Whenever I Please

我可以随意把他给关掉

30 Don’t Let Him in

别让他进来

31 Who Is Shakespeare

莎士比亚是谁

32 The Young Archer

年轻射手

第三章 浪漫满怀

1 A History Teacher

一位历史老师

2 Where Are the Alps

阿尔卑斯山在哪里

3 Nearsightedness

近视

4 What Is a Traitor

什么叫叛徒

5 I Am Afraid of That Too

我也担心这个

6 Piano

钢琴

7 Meeting My Wife

等我太太

8 Traffic Jam

堵车事件

9 I Beg Your Pardon

请原谅

10 Want to Switch Seats

换位子

11 Which Is Which

雌雄难辨

12 Gift

礼物

13 Middle‐aged Woman

中年妇女

14 Swimming Pool

游泳池

15 Old Habit

老习惯

16 Get the Cat Out First

先把猫弄出来

17 So Am I

我也想这样

18 Pick Out Your Husband

领回你丈夫

19 Early Precaution

未雨绸缪

20 Strip Off and Streak

裸奔

21 Canadian Winter

加拿大的冬天

22 Dropped a Piece of Candy

掉了一块糖

23 The Secret

秘诀

24 False Advertising

误导广告

25 Expectant Fathers

准爸爸们

26 Not Here

不在这里

27 Man in the Closet

橱子里的男人

第四章 飓疯校园

1 The Plural

复数形式

2 The Difference

区别

3 The Correct Answer

正确答案

4 The Lighting

闪电

5 Does the Question Beat You

问题难住你了吗

6 Make Mistakes Repeatdly

屡次犯错

7 An Essential Correction

实质性的纠正

8 Great Event

大事件

9 A Physics Exam

物理考试

10 The Motto

座右铭

11 The Longest And The Shortest

最长和最短

12 The Earth’s Shape

地球的形状

13 Can’t Go

不能去

14 Make‐up

化妆

15 What’s the Biggest in the World

世界上什么最大

16 A Physics Exam

物理考试

17 The Answer

答案

18 You Are Stupid

你太愚蠢了

19 Nest and Hair

鸟窝与头发

20 Your Coat Is on Fire

您的大衣着火了

21 Alexander the Great

亚历山大大帝

22 Rough Draft and Final Draft

草稿和终稿

23 Go to Church and Go Fishing

做礼拜和钓鱼

24 How Much for a Season Pass

办一个季度通行证要多少钱

25 An Imaginary Line

假想线

26 Brother in South America

南美洲的哥哥

27 Evils of Liquor

酒的危害

28 I Am the Goalie

我是守门员!

29 Cut Again

再切一次

第五章 百结家事

1 Millionaire

百万富翁

2 I’m Not Inquistive

我不爱刨根问底

3 That’s the One I Didn’t Touch

那块就是我没碰过的

4 Just Sew the Buttonhole

只缝上了扣眼儿

5 Gives In

让步

6 I Didn’t Notice It

我没看到它

7 Apples and Oranges

苹果和桔子

8 Rest Your Eyes

让眼睛休息一下

9 Lost Weight

减肥

10 You Are Afraid of Mamma

就怕妈妈

11 Boy

男孩

12 The Same Service

同样的服务

13 The Will

遗嘱

14 Try the Hat

试帽子

15 New Suit

新套装

16 Why Are Some Hairs White

为什么有白头发

17 A Naked Man

裸男

18 The Consciousness of Safety

安全意识

19 Keeping Up with Joneses

与人攀比

20 The Missing Husband

失踪的丈夫

21 Spaghetti

意大利面

22 The Logic of the Scholar

学者的逻辑

23 Have His Cap Back

让帽子回来

24 A Theology Scholar

神学学者

25 Nothing to Help

帮倒忙

26 The Bad Day

糟糕的一天

27 Twins

双胞胎

28 Letter from Mother

妈妈的来信

29 I’ve Got the Airbag!

我有气袋

30 Still a Bum

仍是个混混

第六章 种瓜得豆

1 What Does Mr Jack Want to Borrow

杰克先生想借什么

2 I Could Do It Slower

我可以干得慢一些

3 What Room I’m in

我在哪个房间

4 A Big Surprise

大吃一惊

5 Pictures for Children

儿童画

6 Two Drunks

两个酒鬼

7 The Strongest Man

最强壮的人

8 Take Me to London

带我去伦敦

9 Running Out of Time

时间不多了

10 The Mean Man’s Party

吝啬鬼请客

11 Coup

妙招

12 Pushed the Wrong Button

按错了按钮

13 Apple Tree

苹果树

14 Three Men in a Boat

三人同舟

15 Placing Stamps on a Letter

给信封贴邮票

16 Self‐assertion

自作多情

17 Wrong Place

放错地方了

18 Three Months to Live

最后三个月的时光

19 Diet at Lunchtime

午餐节食

20 Chair

椅子

21 Bureaucrat

当官的

22 Compulsion

强迫症

23 I Want the Bastard That Pushed Me in

谁在捣鬼

24 A Bronze Lawyer

铜律师

第七章 棋逢歪手

1 A Dead Fly

一只死苍蝇

2 Bring Me the Winner

给我打赢的那只吧

3 I’m the Biggest Liar

我是最会说谎的

4 If My Mouth Still Holds Water

我的嘴是否还能盛水

5 Advice for“Kid”

忠告“年轻者”

6 A Man of Few Words

少言寡语的人

7 Wait a Minute

等一分钟

8 Life after Death

死而复活

9 Digging A Tunnel

挖地道

10 Business Is Terrible

生意很糟

11 Self‐deprecating

自嘲

12 Haven’t Done

没有做过

13 I Wasn’t Asleep

我没有睡着

14 Sell Paintings

卖画

15 That’s My Son

那是我的儿子

16 After They Died

当他们死后

17 Copy the Notes

抄笔记

18 At the Bottom of the Sea

在海底

19 Seeing Is Believing

眼见为实

20 High

高度

21 A Good Solution

解决问题的好办法

22 A Monk

出家

23 Watermelon

西瓜

24 Don’t You Like Any of Our Colors Today

没有您喜欢的颜色吗

25 Napoleon Was Ill

拿破仑病了

26 He’s Six Monthes Old Today

他今天六个月了

27 Doctors’Meeting

医生的会议

28 Investigating a Terrible Accident

事故调查

幽默英文：再逼我，再逼我就装死给你看

第一章 童言无戏

1 No Wonder They Put Him out

怪不得他们把他赶出来

2 Important Job

重要工作

3 A UsefuI Way

一个有用的方法

4 You Don’t Know My Father

你不了解我爸

5 What Did the Teacher Teach

老师教了什么

6 Wake Him Up

把他叫醒

7 Whose Father Was Stronger

谁的父亲更强壮

8 A Small Boy and a Donkey

小男孩与驴子

9 Witty Answer

机智的回答

10 The Wedding

婚礼

11 Who Should Be Given the Gift

礼物该给谁

12 Lost Purse

丢钱包

13 God and Grandma

上帝和祖母

14 Roast Pig

烤猪

15 It Wasn’t Deep

不深

16 Make Someone Else Glad

让别人高兴

17 Talking to God on the Telephone

和上帝通电话

18 Definitely

绝对

19 Intelligent Son

聪明的儿子

20 Four Rabbits

四只兔子

21 Only One Cake Left

只剩一块蛋糕了

22 A Gentleman

绅士

23 Stupid Orders

愚蠢的命令

24 On Miracle

论奇迹

25 Excuse

借口

26 Rescue Clinton in the River

克林顿河中获救

第二章 青葱象牙塔

1 Questions Before Examination

考前问题

2 History Repeats Itself

历史重演

3 What Is Courage

什么是勇气

4 0ur Tails

我们的尾巴

5 The Proof

证据

6 Humorous Teacher

幽默的老师

7 The Absent‐minded Professor

粗心的教授

8 Open‐book Exam

开卷考试

9 College Girl

女大学生

10 Preparing for the Final Examination

准备期末考试

11 Learning for Practice

学以致用

12 A Dollar per Point

一元换一分

13 Gravity

地心引力

14 Football‐Undefeated

从未败过的球队

15 We Are Here!

我们来了！

16 The English Literature Professor

英国文学教授

17 Nine Times Nine

9乘以9

18 Speak Up

大胆直言

19 Sleep over Lectures

课上睡觉

20 The Proportions Are Incorrect

比例不对

21 A Girl’s Examination

美女参加考试

22 A Skeleton Smoking

骷髅吸烟

23 What Do They Laugh for ？